Saturday, March 22, 2014

The Most Loving Thing You Can Say to Your Partner

We all know to some degree or another how to love another person whether it's a friend, relative, or your partner.  Sometimes, it's just not that easy.   Sometimes what we think is the right way to love someone isn't the right way for the person you are trying to love.  I read an interesting article about The Most Loving Thing You Can Say To Your Partner.  It made me really rethink about the way I interact with my husband when it comes to understanding the differences between what I think is right and what he really needs to feel loved and how he loves me.

In the article it says "the only thing that blocks us from being able to learn how to love better is the ego; we simply don’t want to admit that we don’t know how to do it right."  Maybe we tell ourselves that we are capable of loving another person and there is nothing wrong with the way we show love.  It's not that simple, we don't always accept a gesture as an act of love or express fully how the other person's behavior can make us love them.  

This is kinda a "duh" moment when you say, "ok, I'll listen to my partner and see what they say" and their response surprises you.  We did a similar exercise before we got married on love language.  I asked him, "in what ways do you show me affection?"  His response was, "when I rub your feet."  (Insert laughter here)  I love to have my feet rubbed and find it very relaxing.  He hates feet, but he does it because he loves me and knows how much I enjoy it.  Now, every time he even touches them I think about the fact that he is showing me affection.  If you'd like to check out the exercise questions we used, here's the link: Questions Engaged Couples Should Ask Before Getting Married

Maybe you have a "perfect" marriage and never have any communication problems, but for most of us it's just not always that easy.  But opening your mouth is.  Even my husband, the man of VERY few words, managed to do some of these exercises with me.  Hey, we are young and trying to figure this out so don't judge.  But we know we love each other and we know that it's gonna take some work every now and then if we want to make it in the long haul.  And I for one want someone to grow old and wrinkly with.  I want to know what it's like after fifty years to have someone like that beside me.

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